FAQs About Menopause You Were Too Embarrassed to Ask

(But We’re Talking About Anyway)

Let’s be honest. There are things about menopause we don’t bring up at board meetings, with our work colleagues, on school pick-up, or even sometimes with friends.
We can talk about hot flushes until the cows come home — but what about the other stuff?
The “Is this just me?” questions. The “Oh dear god, why didn’t anyone warn me?” moments.

Today, we’re putting it all on the table. No filter. No shame. Just straight answers — with a little humour, because otherwise we’d cry… and we’ve all done plenty of that!

Why has my sex drive vanished — and can I get it back?

When oestrogen and testosterone drop, so can libido. Plus, vaginal dryness and changes in blood flow make sex less comfortable. Your body is basically saying, “If we’re not making babies, why bother?”. Well I can tell you, why bother!!! ha! So we need to make our way through this change.

What helps: To help use vaginal moisturisers, lubricants and pelvic floor physiotherapy. And yes, hormone therapy or testosterone support can help too — no, it’s not “cheating” biology, it’s optimising it. Now comes the time to be really honest with your partner as well. This is NOT the moment to grin and bear it. To think, “Do I just not get turned on anymore? What’s wrong with me?”. Nothing is wrong with you at all..your body is simply changing (and by the way so is your partners). Keeping open and honest is so important, and on the bright side…you might find new ways of being intimate too!

Is peeing myself when I laugh really part of menopause?

Sadly, yes.
Lower oestrogen means pelvic floor tissues lose elasticity, and muscles weaken — combine that with childbirth history, and you’ve got a recipe for “oops moments.”

What helps: Pelvic floor exercises (Kegels), Pilates, and if it’s bad, see a pelvic health physio. Seriously — those women are miracle workers.

What’s with the weird body odour?

Oestrogen affects sweat glands, and as hormones shift, the balance of bacteria on your skin changes. Combine that with hot flushes, and you may notice a “new” scent.

What helps: Breathable fabrics, natural deodorants (less harsh on changing skin), and hydration. Water, water, water! Remember, 30ml per 1kg of body weight is a good amount to go for daily.

Why am I suddenly waking at 3am every night?

Oestrogen helps regulate melatonin and serotonin — the hormones that support your sleep-wake cycle. When it drops, your sleep architecture changes, cortisol (stress hormone) spikes, and bam — you’re wide awake in the wee hours, wondering if you should start a sourdough!

What helps: Avoid caffeine after midday and if you feel sensitive around caffeine, remember chocolate has caffeine in it too! Keep your bedroom cool, and try magnesium glycinate supplements at night.

Will my hair stop falling out?

It might slow down once your hormones stabilise — but the texture and volume often change for good. Lower oestrogen means hair grows more slowly, while higher higher levels of testosterone (an androgen hormone) can shrink follicles.

What helps: Protein-rich diet, scalp massage, and minimising heat styling.

Can menopause really affect my eyes, ears, and teeth?

Yep. Dry eyes, ringing in the ears, and gum sensitivity are all linked to hormonal changes. Your dentist may be the first to tell you your gums are more inflamed — and your optometrist might notice changes in tear production.

What helps: Stay on top of check-ups, hydrate (yep water, water, water again!), and use specialised drops if needed.

Is this belly fat here to stay?

Not necessarily. Lower oestrogen changes how your body stores fat, often shifting it to the midsection. Insulin resistance can creep in, making it easier to gain weight too…these days you sniff a croissant and feel the weight gain…disaster!

What helps: Strength training, protein at every meal, walking after eating, and managing stress by focusing on breath-work or movement like yoga, getting good quality sleep and meditation (cortisol belly is real).

Why am I so angry — at everyone?

Hormonal shifts change serotonin and dopamine levels, which regulate mood. These are the happy hormones so to speak. Oestrogen also helps modulate cortisol (your stress hormone), so without it, your stress response is sharper. Notice any decrease in your patience lately? Translation: The dog chewing your shoe now feels like a personal attack.

What helps: Exercise (increases dopamine levels), journaling, therapy, good nutritious foods for your gut (most of the happy hormones are created in your gut!) and yes — telling your family this is a thing.

Is it normal to feel like my brain has been replaced with a sieve?

Yes. 100% yes.
Oestrogen helps keep your brain firing on all cylinders — it boosts neurotransmitters like serotonin and supports memory and focus. When it dips, it’s like someone keeps hitting “refresh” on your mental browser… but nothing reloads.
You might forget names, lose your train of thought mid-sentence, or walk into a room and wonder if you were looking for the cat or your keys.

What helps: Sleep, omega-3s, strength training, and lowering stress. And giving yourself grace — you’re not losing your mind, you’re rewiring it.

What’s the bottom line then?

If it feels “weird” in your body right now — you’re not broken, and you’re definitely not alone. Menopause is a whole-body experience, and talking about it openly is how we take the shame away and support each other through it.

So ask the “embarrassing” questions. Your girlfriends will thank you. Your body will thank you. And one day, a younger woman will thank you for warning her before she thinks she’s the only one who just peed a little at the comedy show!

Put the mask on you first, ask those questions and thrive again!

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